I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man
by GreysChick
Summary: AU: Crossover Fic with the original song by Prince, made popular again by Jordan Knight
1. Chapter 1

_Only last June when her old man ran away, she couldn't stop crying cause she knew he was gone to stay._

Mercedes Jones sat on the next to a pile of tissues, watching Bridget Jones' Diary for the umpteenth time. She needed something to take her mind of her current situation. She left Matt again for good; she could handle taking a backseat to his career. Hell, she was a career woman herself; she spent most of her time in the recording studio working on her album. She was willing to forgive him putting his career in front of their relationship – what she could not and would not forgive is catching Matt in bed with another woman.

"I hear you Bridget, I'm going to be old and alone too," she lamented at the screen, grimacing when she heard the knock on the door. With the way her day was going, it was probably an ax murderer ready to finish her off.

"Oh, hell no!" Santana Lopez said when Mercedes opened the door and looked down at her bestie's dirty t-shirt and hole-y Capri pants. "It's Friday night and we just got paid. This won't do," she said, pushing her way into Mercedes' apartment and throwing her emergency breakup kit down on the couch.

Santana's emergency breakup kit was different than most others; hers included a bottle of Jack Daniels, cosmetics and the typical little black dress – except it was a red bandage dress that showed a lot of her beautiful dark-complexed skin.

"So here's what we're going to do," Santana said, walking through Mercedes' apartment and picking up all those used tissues and tossing them in the trash. "You're going to get your pretty ass off the couch, get in the shower and we're going down to Celebrities. You're not about to sit your ass in the house and waste anymore tears over that fool."

"Santana, I'm really not in the mood, ok?" Mercedes sat down in her recliner and crossed her legs under her. "What if I see him out?"

Santana scoffed as she poured Mercedes a shot out of the whiskey bottle and then one for herself. She handed it to Mercedes and raised an eyebrow. Mercedes knew better than to refuse it. She shook her head as it burned on the way down. Santana did the same and then smiled. "I can count on one hand how many fucks I give about seeing him out with his skank." For emphasis, Santana held her hands behind her back. "See? That damn many. I wish to hell I would see him out. I ain't had to cut nobody in a long time." She tossed back another whiskey shot and handed one out to her girl.

Mercedes shrugged her shoulders and sent that one down her throat as well. "Please don't go Lima Heights Adjacent on anyone tonight. I don't want to have to bail you out of jail. New York ain't ready for a homegirl from Ohio," she laughed, winking at the fiery Latina.

"Anything for you doll," Santana quipped, smacking Mercedes' ample ass as she headed towards the bathroom to get ready.

Sam Evans was at Celebrities with his best friend Noah Puckerman, whom everyone called Puck. He was on leave from the Air Force, and they were having a Bro's Night Out. He loved whenever he was out with Puck in uniform because the women fell over themselves trying to get to their table. Normally he was all for it, but not tonight. Puck was had a major case of the heartbreaks - Quinn left Puck again, and he wasn't quite himself.

"Puck, I told you before that you can't fuck around on a woman like Quinn," Sam said, draining the rest of his beer. "I would say that even if she wasn't my sister."

"I'm sorry dude, it wasn't even my fault this time," Puck said, swishing his lime around in the Seven & Seven he was drinking.

"So the waitress at the diner stripped her clothes off and fell on your dick?" Sam raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I'm surprised Quinn didn't go for that."

"Here's what happened…" Puck said launching into his story. He was listening intently until a flash of red caught his eye. The prettiest woman he'd ever seen walked through the door and he couldn't help but stare as she and her friend walked over to the VIP section in the corner.

_10:35 on a lonely Friday night, she was standing by the fire and she was looking alright. _

"Dude, are you listening to me?" Puck said, waving his hand in Sam's face, looking around to see what or who caught Sam's attention.

"Yes, I heard you. Dani just broke up with her girlfriend and she realized she wanted to go back to dick," Sam repeated, signaling to the server for a refill. "I heard every word."

"Damn!" Puck exclaimed when his own eyes followed who Sam was checking. "I haven't seen two hotties like that in a long time! I call dibs on the Spanish one," Puck said, standing up to straighten his uniform. "I'm going to go over there; she needs to be the next Mrs. Puckerman."

Sam laughed and shook his head. "There hasn't been a first Mrs. Puckerman."

"Semantics, Sam. I need to talk to that girl."

Sam's head was in another world – the dark skin, her delicious curves accentuated by that tight-as-fuck dress, the heels that made her legs look a mile long and the best part was the ass that sat on top of those mile high legs. Puck and Sam walked purposefully over to their table and stood in front of Mercedes. "I don't know what your name is, and I'm sorry if I'm being rude to your friend, but I have to ask you to dance before I lose my nerve," Sam said in a rush.

_I asked her if she wanted to dance and she said that all she wanted was a good man and wanted to know If I thought I was qualified…_

Mercedes was caught way off guard from the stranger in front of her. She took a quick second to size up him and his friend. Both were sexy as hell, and the blond looked like he belonged on a cover of GQ. That's where she went wrong with Matt - he was beautiful on the outside but ugly as hell on the inside and broke her heart into a million pieces.

She blinked her eyes after Santana jabbed her in the ribs. She leaned over to Mercedes and whispered in her ear, "He's extremely fuckable and if you don't do him, I will."

"You don't even like men anymore," Mercedes said, laughing at her friend's audaciousness. She turned her head back to Sam who was still standing there.

"Yes, stranger. I'd love to dance." She stood up and Sam grabbed her by the elbow to lead her out to the dance floor.

"I'm Sam," he said, leaning over to introduce himself.

"Mercedes," she offered, reaching out to shake his hand. "Nice to meet you." They made it over to the dance floor and they joined the other couples, as the previous song had ended and the next one started. He held her close and dominantly placed his hand on the small of her back to lead. He was considerable taller than she was, even in the heels. She leaned her head on his should and smiled to herself. _He smells fucking delicious,_ she thought, trying to breathe him in for the next for minutes in time.

_And I said baby don't waste your time  
I know what's on your mind  
I may be qualified for a one night stand  
But I could never take the place of your man_

Mercedes made the mistake of concentrating on the words of the song to try and distract her from being held by the gorgeous semi-stranger. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. _No, not here, _she admonished herself. _Do not cry any more tears over Matt's stupid ass. _She sniffed, trying to keep the snot at bay; Santana would be pissed if she ruined her makeup with tears and snot.

_It hurt me so bad when she told me with tears in her eyes  
He was all she ever had and now she wanted to die  
He left her with a baby and another one on the way  
She couldn't stop crying cause she knew he was gone to stay_

"What's his name?" Sam asked. He could feel her sniffing. "I don't mean to pry, but I don't like to see beautiful girls cry."

"Lucky for me since I'm so short you can't see me cry," Mercedes said, trying to diffuse the situation with laughter. "It's a long story, but the basic storyline is boy meets girl. Girl gives boy virginity. Boy cheats on girl after her career takes off because he needed to feel like a man." Mercedes shook her head to erase the thought of that girl and Matt in her bed.

"That's rough," Sam said, looking down at Mercedes. He wiped the tear that managed to fall. "I'm really sorry; you seem like a nice girl. Unless I'm reading your situation wrong, you didn't deserve that."

"I didn't think so either," Mercedes exclaimed. "I just met you and you seem to understand. All I've ever wanted was a good man. Is that too much to ask for?" She looked up at Sam and studied his face. He had clear green eyes and perfect skin. She concentrated on his full, pink lips, lips that would cause a grown woman or man to sin.

"It's the lips isn't it?" Sam inquired, breaking Mercedes from her thoughts.

"What about them?" she said, confused by the question.

"You're staring," he pointed out and Mercedes was suddenly embarrassed.

"Oh goodness, I'm so sorry!" Mercedes laughed. "Where are my manners? They're just so sexy," she said. "I don't mean to stare. You're sexy I'm sure you hear that all the time."

"You're not the only sexy person on this dance floor, FYI," Sam said. Mercedes blushed and stepped into his hold. He felt so damn good against her. She'd never felt an attraction to any other man this heavy before. His strong and slightly possessive hold of her made her feel warm all over. _No girl. You just met this man, put it in park. _

Luckily for her the song ended and she stepped back from Sam. "Thanks for the dance," Mercedes said. She smiled at Sam as she attempted to walk away, but he grabbed onto her hand.

"Mercedes wait," Sam started, pulling her off to the side as hard-bass rap song began. "I barely know you, but I can't let you leave without knowing if I'll ever see you again."

_She asked me if we could be friends and I said oh honey baby that's a dead end  
You know and I know that we wouldn't be satisfied_

"We just met, Sam," Mercedes chuckled. "You don't even know me. Besides, I'm not in a good place right now." She looked around for Santana, hoping she could channel her friend's advice. All she heard in the back of her mind was Santana saying "_If you don't do him, I will." _

Sam smiled down at her and she was sure she could see all 32 of his perfect teeth. "I know we just met, but there's something about you."

_And I said baby don't waste your time, I know what's on your mind baby  
Wouldn't be satisfied with a one night stand, and I could never take the place of your man_

Mercedes faltered on her heel as she felt Sam pull her into a hard embrace. He yanked her to him and covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss. She responded immediately, surprising herself. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than she could have imagined. He tasted her tentatively with his tongue, and Mercedes opened her mouth with a low moan. Their mouths moved together in sync as if they'd known each other for years, instead of just a few minutes. He trailed his fingers up into her hair, tilting her head to dominate the kiss. Her lips tasted like the Moscato she had consumed previously before and he wanted to taste every drop.

Mercedes couldn't help herself as another soft moan escaped her. She couldn't tell if the loud thumping she heard was the beat of the music or the beat of her heart. She reluctantly broke apart from him and just stood there. She didn't trust herself to speak at that very moment - her entire body was on fire; no one had ever kissed her like that before. She blinked at him, waiting for her brain to form a coherent thought. Luckily he went first. "I'm sorry," Sam apologized. "I'm not sure what came over me, but if I'm not going to see you again, then I needed to make that memory or else I would have driven myself crazy wondering how you would taste and feel." He placed his hands in his pockets, resisting the urge to take her in his arms once more.

"That was certainly unexpected," Mercedes said backing away slightly as she tried to regain her composure. Every nerve in her body was tingling, and she didn't know what else to say.

"Again, I'm sor-" Sam began, but his words died in his throat as Mercedes cut him off with a kiss. This time it was different, more urgent. She slid her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, feeling reckless and out of control. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her lower back, resting one on her ass. Sam tasted of gin and sex, one of her favorite flavors. Her lips moved hungrily against his, and he deepened the kiss. He moved his left hand to cup one of her breasts. Mercedes didn't even care they were on a dance floor in the middle of a crowded nightclub. Sam made her feel wanted and that's all she cared about.

"Damn, Weezy!" Santana's voice rang out. "Who's your friend?"

Mercedes reluctantly pulled her lips away from Sam. "Looks like we're caught," she said through a smile. She turned around to face her best friend. "Santana, this is Sam."

"Nice way of putting those trouty mouth lips to work," Santana quipped. "We need to go; I had to go LHA on a bitch in the bathroom," she said, thrusting Mercedes' purse at her.

Mercedes turned back around to Sam. "Goodnight, Sam. Thanks for the memories." She turned to walk away behind Santana, and Sam stood rooted to the floor watching her go. _Go after her idiot, _he heard Puck's voice say in his head.

"Mercedes, wait. When will I see you again?"

"I believe in fate Sam," Mercedes smiled. She placed a kiss against Sam's mouth, but not quite on his lips. "You want to see me again, find me."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam Evans paced around his office, staring out the window from the tenth floor. He looked down at the people walking along the beach, almost mocking him in their happiness. It had been three days since he met the chocolate goddess at Celebrities, and she hadn't been able to leave his thoughts. He knew her name was Mercedes, that's all he had. The last words she said to him kept echoing in his head, _"I believe in fate, Sam. If you want me, come find me."_

He stalked back over to his desk and booted up his laptop. His phone rang and he quickly picked it up, hoping fate would throw him a bone and Mercedes was on the other end of this phone. "Hello?" Sam said into the phone, a little too eagerly.

"Were you sitting on your phone dude?" Puck's voice rang out on the other end of the cellular airwaves. Sam sat down in his plush desk chair, feeling slightly dejected, although he knew that Mercedes wouldn't be calling him.

"No, just happened to be at my desk," he said, leaning back and putting his feet on the top of the desk. "Unsuccessfully getting work done. I need to have these stills done for Schuester by the end of the day. I don't see it happening. Every time I go to draw something it ends up looking like Mercedes."

"She was pretty banging dude, I can't lie," Puck said. "Did you find her?"

"Fuck no," Sam said, logging into the laptop and pulling up his social media sites. "I only have her first name. I don't even know where to start."

"There's Google, Bing, Facebook. I could go on," Puck advised. "Think man!"

"What do I put in the search engine? _Mercedes, banging black chick from the bar that could be the mother of my children?_ Something tells me I'm going to get more than what I really need to see."

He could hear Puck laughing through the phone lines. "Is that right? You been holding out?"

"No," Sam sighed heavily. "Wishful thinking. I can only im-" Sam was interrupted by the knock at his office door. "Come in!" he yelled.

His partner Mike came in through the door and put a stack of papers at his desk. "Puck, let me talk to you later. Mike just came in," he said.

"Alright dude," Puck said. "Tell that fucker he owes me a drink as much as I spent in his bar last weekend."

"Will do," Sam said, disconnecting the call and turning his attention to Mike. "What's up buddy?" he said, holding out his hand for a fist bump. "Puck said you owe him a drink."

"Hey Sam," Mike said, sitting on the edge of the desk. "Here are the contracts from Quinn," he said, pointing to the stack. "She said she put little tabs on everything that you needed to sign. Nice to see she's still taking care of you."

"Well, she should take care of me," Sam laughed. "It's our New Directions Fine Arts Academy that put her through school," Sam explained. "It makes it easier that Quinn's an attorney," he said, flipping through the paperwork. Everything seemed in order with getting the accreditation to start offering classes to elementary students. He started signing and initialing in the sections Quinn had marked for him. He was pretty excited about being able to offer singing and dancing classes to eight year olds. His love of music started early in his life when he picked up his first guitar at the age of five.

Mike laughed and nodded his head. "Who knew she'd actually make good on her promise to be an attorney and help us get our school up and running?"

"I was worried when she went through that smoking and pink hair phase," Sam shook his head at that memory of Quinn walking through the high school halls with pink hair.

Mike stood up and straightened his suit. "I'm meeting Tina for lunch. She says we don't have enough time for us since the baby." Mike brushed off imaginary lint from his shoulder. "And in regards to Puck, tell that freeloader to buy his own booze," he said through a laugh. "He's already on the door list permanently."

_He's already on the door list permanently. _That last sentence echoed in Sam's brain. "Wait – do you keep a list of everyone on the VIP list of your club?"

Mike looked a little confused at Sam's sudden interest in the VIP list. "Well, since I'm just Artie's silent partner, I don't have much to do with it, but I'm sure he does. What's up?"

Sam went into the story of his encounter with Mercedes and how she left him. Mike smiled at Sam's excitement. It had been a while since he'd been this excited over a woman. "She actually said '_If you want me, come find me'?"_

"Yes, brother," Sam nodded his head. "I don't even know where to start. Maybe her name is on Artie's VIP records." He started drafting an email to Artie – that was his first lead with finding his Chocolate Goddess. A_rtie, I need for VIP record for last Saturday. I'm looking for the beautiful woman that rocked my world. Thanks, Sam. _

Mike strode over to Sam's office door and turned back to hm. "I want to meet this woman when you find her. If she's got you on the ropes, I have to meet this hottie."

"You'll be invited to the wedding," Sam laughed, his heart pounding a little faster as the new mail icon appeared in the corner of his screen. He could hear Mike laughing down the hall.

_Sam my boy! Here's an attachment for the list you so desire. Hope your little sweet thang is on here. – Artie. _

He pulled up the PDF file of the list for Saturday and looked through it. There wasn't any form of Mercedes' name on the list. He looked over it again, at each female name that might trigger something. He got to the bottom, and there it was: _Santana Lopez_. There couldn't be that many people named Santana Lopez in Nevada.

He pulled up his Facebook account and typed in her name. He had to scroll through more than Santana Lopezes than the thought, but he had a pretty good idea of what she looked like. Sam resisted the urge to click the _Add Friend_ link, but instead clicked on the _Friends_ link instead. All of her 765 friends appeared and Sam typed in "Mercedes" in the search field.

The 10 seconds it took for the page to load with search results felt like it took years. There were only two results: _Mercedes-Benz USA_ and _Mercedes Jones_. Sam's hands shook slightly as he pulled up her profile.

His future started back at him, the beautiful picture of one Mercedes Jones….He wanted her, and now he found her. He needed to find a way to tip fate's hand. He went back to his email and replied to Artie's email: _I found who I was looking for and I need a favor…_


End file.
